Friday, 22 February 2013

Signs That You Are, Indeed, Turning Into Your Mother

It was inevitable, I'm sure. The time has come. I'm turning into my mother, with an unhealthy dose of my father.

Here are the signs that you may be doing the same:

  1. Organizing and/or relocating your utensil drawer is exciting. The rest of the family is pissed because they keep opening the newly appointed dish towel drawer when they need a fork.
  2. Baseboard cleanliness becomes an actual concept. 
  3. When you rant at your kids, your brain is so tired that you mess up your words. The kids giggle. You lose. Walk away and drink wine.
  4. Mascara is applied roughly once per week. Twice, if you have an doctor/car/school appointment. God forbid the real world know what lurks beneath the makeup.
  5. You start slamming cabinet doors, tossing books, and lobbing toys into their place to show your disapproval of the house's messiness. No one notices the reason behind it - you just look insane.
  6. The kids start asking why you look mad when you're not even mad.
  7. Your joints hurt and you're still under 30.
  8. Coffee is the answer to everything before 11AM. 
  9. Wine is the answer to everything after 5PM (4PM on weekends).
  10. You start finding new ways to use everything. Pre-Pinterest, this is what moms always did, we just didn't see the genius until that magical website came along. 
So, thanks, Mom. You're rad. A little insane and borderline alcoholic, but so am I. 

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